Wednesday, January 21, 2015

5 New High-Level Math Jokes

We here at the Analysisters enjoy puns, and are happy to contribute to the already-gigantic list of math jokes every once in a while. Here are some we've come up with over the years!

1. A topologist walks into $\bar A$. It's closed.

2. (3 variants) Q: If chocolate is a Hilbert space and peanut butter is its dual, why can every element in peanut butter be written as an inner product $\langle y,x \rangle$, where $y$, $x$ are chocolates and $x$ is uniquely fixed?
A: Reese's Representation Theorem.

Q: Why is peanut butter the adjoint of chocolate? Why is chocolate the adjoint of peanut butter?
A: Reese's Representation Theorem.
(Thanks, Paul!)

Q: What's a mathematician's favorite candy?
A: Riesz's Pieces.

3. What did the analyst have for dinner?
Limsup.

4. Your mama isn't Lebesgue integrable because she doesn't vanish at infinity!

5. Eight mathematicians walk into a diner. The first one says they're not hungry, and orders nothing. The next three order a beer, a hamburger, and french fries, respectively. The next three order a burger and fries, fries and a beer, and a burger and a beer, respectively. The last one orders a burger, fries, and a beer.

"I'm sorry, I can't fill your order," she says.

"Why is that?"

"This is only a partial order."

BONUS: Not necessarily in joke format, but I refuse to refer to
$$F_n = \frac{1}{\sqrt{5}}(\phi^n - \bar{\phi}^{n})$$
as anything except "that formula that shoots water up your butt".